To Amanda at the age of 5: You’re not sneaky, and you’re a bad liar. Don’t even think about those cookies. Also, don’t get distracted by that boy. Learn to block soccer balls from hitting you in the face instead.
To Amanda at the age of 6: Congratulations, you’ve found your calling. Have fun thinking it’s not a viable option for the next 20-odd years.
To Amanda at the age of 8: The world is not ending because you’re moving, and you have a lifetime of friends to make. Just Breathe.
To Amanda at the age of 9: I realize you’re totally freaking out about puberty, but trust me, it’s not that awful.
To Amanda at the age of 11: Be friendly! Don’t moon over that boy too hard, he’s not the one. Have fun.
To Amanda at the age of 12: Not all middle school girls are this awful, trust me. Be strong. If you try, the worst that can happen is you fail. If you don’t try, you’ve already failed.
To Amanda at the age of 14: Chill, girl. Stop judging people based on the high school movies you’ve seen. You don’t know their history.
To Amanda at the age of 15: Don’t wait until the last minute to write those history papers. Don’t wave to that boy, you’re going to – congratulations, you tripped. It won’t be the only time today. You forgot to bring that note to school for a reason. Let It Goooo. In fact, just let ALL the boys go this year. Let them goooo.
To Amanda at the age of 16: I know you love history, but didn’t I tell you at six that you found your calling? This isn’t it. Also this is the best prom.
To Amanda at the age of 17: Fall down ten times, get up eleven. God won’t give you a situation you can’t handle with his help. Don’t let others dictate your actions. Peer pressure is an illusion. Be kind, and don’t ask stupid questions that you know will piss people off. Don’t moon over that boy too hard, he’s not the one. Communication is key. Also, your parents are totally not going to let you move to Colorado, but apply anyway.
To Amanda at the age of 18: You’re not missing anything, so focus on your schoolwork. Also, science is not your calling. Also, you’re going to have your favorite job while you’re here. Also, 36 hours at THON is not good for your ankles.
To Amanda at the age of 20: You’re making the right decision. There are so many good things waiting for you.
To Amanda at the age of 22: That friendship is not worth the drama. Let it gooooooooo. Just say no.
To Amanda at the age of 24: You won’t BeLIEVE where you’ll be living and what you’ll be doing this time next year. Oh… you guessed right. Okay then.
To Amanda at the age of 25: Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. Chase your dreams ferociously. Don’t give away your shot.